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Monthly Meeting: Empowering Clients to Move from Blame to Agency: Find the Harmonious Center in the Whirlwind of Emotion

  • May 25, 2021
  • 6:30 PM - 8:00 PM
  • Zoom


  • Non ICF-Local Member, Non ICF-Global Member. You do not have to be a member of ICF to join our meetings - all are welcome. There is a $20 fee to attend, payable online via PayPal, Credit or Debit card during the registration process.
  • ICF Global Member, Non-ICF Austin/Local Member. Fee is $20, payable online by Palpal, Credit or Debit card as part of the registration process. Interested in becoming an ICF Local member as well? Please visit our Membership tab for more information!
  • ICF Local (Austin) Members are both ICF Austin and ICF Global Members.

    ICF Local (Austin) Affiliates are ICF Austin Members, but non-ICF Global Members.

    ICF Local Members and Affiliates can attend monthly meetings for free!

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Monthly Meeting 

Empowering Clients to Move from Blame to Agency:  Find the Harmonious Center in the Whirlwind of Emotion 

CCEU: in progress

Clients come to you to live a meaningful life and move toward their aspirations.  They probably feel excited and hopeful when they start working with you.  But when they don't succeed at their goals quickly enough, they might get frustrated, scared or dejected.

They might ignore those feelings or push them away, intensifying their efforts to chunk through.  But willpower, affirmations, positive thinking and visualizations won't do the trick.  Those unpleasant feelings will keep popping up.  

So what to do with them?

Feelings are messengers of beautiful, universal, human needs, needs we share throughout space and time.  They are like a check-engine light to understand what's going on.

We will explore the insights, consciousness, and tools of Nonviolent Communication, to help your clients have the same curiosity about their feelings.  And empower them to use them in a constructive way.

In this workshop, we will do a pair exercise that can help your clients:

  • Expand their vocabulary of feelings
  • Understand the information that feelings carry
  • Recognize pseudo-feelings
  • Translate pseudo-feelings into values, needs and feelings
  • Integrate this new awareness so they can start responding instead of reacting.

A core skill for any coach is to motivate clients to achieve new goals. Psychological research suggests that this is best done by creating "bridgeable gaps." In this talk, I explore research on the role of gaps between the present and the future as creators of motivational energy. Then, I examine work on the importance of having a plan that will enable people to reduce that gap for driving people to act. Along the way, I will discuss the way that understanding emotions can help coaches to read the motivational states of their clients.


  • 6:30PM–8:00PM
  • Zoom Call - You will receive the link in your confirmation email.


Everyone is welcome to attend our meetings. 

  • ICF Local (Austin) Members and Affiliates - FREE
  • ICF Global Members, Non-ICF Local Members -$20
  • Guests (Non ICF-Local or Global Members) - $20

About the speakerS

Elly van Laar is CEO and founder of Elly van Laar Coaching, an Austin business specializing in leadership development and conflict training for nonprofit leaders. She is a recognized expert in Nonviolent Communication, conflict resolution, and self-compassion.

Over the past 24 years, Elly has worked in and with nonprofits. She has been a frontline worker, Director of Programming, and Board member of the Austin Mediators Association and the local chapter of the International Coach Federation.

In addition, Elly is a frequent speaker on empathy, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution. She belongs to Thich Nhat Hanh’s mindfulness community, volunteers at the Austin Dispute Resolution Center, and offers meditation classes in jail.

Elly holds a Master’s degree in Political Science from Leiden University, the Netherlands. She is a certified coach and a credentialed mediator.

To find out more about Elly

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